[ The modern conversion audit ]

F$%K YOUR WEBSITE.

Your homepage is losing money. We find where, rank by impact, and ship you the punch list inside 24 hours. $97. One operator. No call. No upsell. You read it tomorrow, your team ships from it by Friday.

UNDER 24 HOURS 5 AUDITS · 1 PDF 4-WEEK SHIP PLAN ONE OPERATOR · NO CALL
[ Not ready for $97 ]

Take the 60-second self-audit first.

Ten questions. No email. Click your way through and we'll tell you whether to fix it yourself or get the audit.

Start free self-audit FREE · NO SIGNUP · 60 SECONDS

[ Why now ]

Four things changed. Nobody in the audit aisle noticed.

The category is still selling six-week, $5K reports to founders who run their P&L on their phone. Founders stopped reading. Audit shops kept printing. The math broke. Here's the math.

01 — Price

The audit that cost $5,000 last year costs $97 now.

An AI agent stack — Claude, custom CRO frameworks, Lighthouse APIs, heatmap scrapers — compresses a five-person, six-week engagement into a one-operator, one-day delivery. The deeper audit isn't gone. It just lost its excuse to bill like 2008.

02 — Voice

Nobody wants the buzzwords anymore.

Founders are done with "data-driven user experience optimization." They want the friend who texts them at midnight: your hero is fighting itself — here's the rewrite. Specific verbs. Specific files. Specific fixes.

03 — Shippable

The 80-page report is a tax.

Operators don't want findings. They want a four-week sprint of ICE-scored fixes their team can drop onto Linear Monday morning. We ship the punch list. The analysis stays in the appendix.

04 — Motion

Motion became a conversion lever. Audits never noticed.

Every elite site uses motion to guide attention and earn trust. Every CRO audit on Earth pretends it doesn't exist. Which library, which surface, which pattern — that's the one section the founder can feel is missing from every other report.

[ The thesis ]

Every site leaks. Most operators know it. Nobody told them where.


Agencies turned that gap into a $5,000 product wrapped in a discovery call. We turned it into a $97 answer that lands in your inbox by tomorrow morning. Same five frameworks. Same depth. The footer just says "one operator" instead of "managing director."

[ The receipts ]

Six things you can verify the first time you buy.

No "trusted by Fortune 500." No agency logos arranged in a grid. Just the parts of the report you can hold up against your last $5,000 audit and watch shrink.

WhatWhat you actually get
The stack Five audits stitched into one PDF. Conversion teardown of your highest-traffic page. UX/UI benchmark against the best sites in the world. Heatmap-attributed revenue. Motion prescription. Four-week sprint plan. Same depth as a $200/hr engagement — built as a product.
The clock Most reports land 4–8 hours after checkout. The slowest one we shipped took 22. The clock starts at purchase. It does not pause while we wait for a "discovery call."
The benchmark Your site gets scored against Linear, Stripe, Vercel, Arc, Apple, Airbnb — not against "industry averages." If your hero loses to Stripe's, the report says it loses, and names the row it loses on.
The motion section Which library. Which surface. Which pattern. GSAP for the hero. Framer Motion for the cart. View Transitions for checkout. Specific, not aesthetic. This is the page no other audit ships.
The roadmap Every finding scored Impact / Confidence / Effort. Sequenced into a four-week sprint. Written specifically so your team can paste it into Linear and start Monday.
The artifact A branded, typographic, screenshot-worthy PDF. Built like a magazine spread, not a procurement doc. The kind of file you want to forward to your team and share with the founder friend who asked what you're reading on a Tuesday night.

[ The shape of the report ]

What you get. What you don't.

Six lines on each side. If any of the right column sounds like the last audit you bought, you already know why this one exists.

[ + ] WHAT YOU GET


  • A rewritten hero block. Not "improve your messaging."
  • The LCP-blocking module called out by filename.
  • A four-week sprint your team can paste into Linear today.
  • One audit. One operator. One signature. One delivery.
  • The exact library, surface, and pattern for every motion fix.
  • $97 in our brand. $247 in yours. Inbox in under 24 hours either way.

[ − ] WHAT YOU DON'T


  • An 80-page PDF that ends with "we should talk."
  • A discovery call gated behind your calendar link.
  • A Lighthouse score with a victory lap and no fixes.
  • A six-week engagement for a Friday-shaped problem.
  • A retainer dressed up as an audit.
  • Anything you could mistake for a 2018 agency deck.

[ The deliverable ]

Twenty-five pages. One PDF. The whole audit.

A conversion teardown of your highest-traffic page. A UX/UI benchmark against the best sites on the internet. Heatmap-attributed revenue per click. A motion prescription nobody else writes. A four-week ICE-ranked sprint plan. Plus a low-fi mockup of the page that's leaking the most. One PDF you'll actually want to forward.

[ One audit · One operator · One Friday ]

Buy tonight. Read by morning. Ship it Friday.

REPORT IN UNDER 24 HOURS · NO CALL · NO UPSELL · ONE OPERATOR